Favorite parts about growing up

No, not existential.

February is my favorite part of the year. I know so many of my likes and dislikes now. I have a fair idea of who I am. When I am vulnerable, which is a lot more often now, I even open up honestly about my strengths and weaknesses. And it is often with courage and grit. And with humility. And with the resolve that I will do better at some point in life if not immediately.

I am less judgemental about myself and take myself a lot less seriously. These two major changes have inundated my life with happiness. It is almost unbelievable. I forgive myself (& consequently others) a lot faster than I used to. I approach inconveniences a lot less like a headless chicken now — with a lot less drama.

It is okay if my boss tells me I am terrible at my job.

It is okay if I hear that a supposedly close friends is telling everyone she hates me.

It is okay if the world believes a baseless accusation about me perpetuated by a person I had a disagreement with

And it is definitely okay to embarrass yourself in front of people.

I think we all have storage containers in our beings. Our mind breaks down all our life experiences into simpler themes and stores lessons from them in these containers. The container that has the potential to be filled the fastest (if we are not totally stupid) is the one labelled empathy.

Anything that ever happens to us translates into a lesson and is a window into how other people live their lives. As we experience things, we learn to look at the world from different perspectives. We know exactly where the shoe pinches. It teaches us that we are in fact permeable. And we learn to look at others tenderly.

The second one is intuition. We often confuse this for foresight, but it is in fact evidence-based analysis. It is a muscle that is honed by this wonderful called experience which is quite simply a product of time and action.

My favourite part about growing up is familiarity with self. I love this information I have about the changes food triggers in my body — acne, abdominal pain, lethargy, bloating. I ignore this information unapologetically but at least I know.

I have lived long enough to identify my patterns and the world’s. The world and I are friends; sometimes we align and other times the world comes at me like it hasn’t had a more serious vendetta with anyone else. I know when I am inviting trouble and I know when the world is nudging me in the wrong direction.

My favourite part about growing up is the ability to absorb shock gracefully. To mitigate better. To stay contained. To hold that thought. To hold that tongue. To release anger in a way that may reap some benefit.

My favourite part about growing up is that I am not a child anymore and God knows I hated being one.